mother plucker!

of coarse I'm a good motherI just had a giant fibroid taken out of me along with my fallopian tubes, or maybe it was my brain and my fallopian tubes!  Either way, I seemed to have gone into hormonal shock, questioning everything I have done in the past 51 years.  Yes, I had a lot of time on my hands and yes the morphine drip might of had something to do with it. . . In medical terms I went a little nuts.  I know as an artist slash mother we are not the norm, or maybe it’s just me.  I taught Zoe to play in the puddles, draw on the walls and make many mistakes which is quite like child abuse for her type of personality.  She is a child who has to follow the rules at all times!  And when I got divorced and starting acting like I was in my 20’s could be the reason she doesn’t want to date.  I can go on; but just in case my mother is reading this, I should quit while I’m ahead!  Somehow or another my fabulous child turned out ok and I couldn’t be more proud of her.  I adored being a mother and  I love being an artist.  My dad said I came out of my mother chasing boys and holding a crayon. . . it’s all I know, it’s in my bones.  I guess I should give myself a break because if I wasn’t so nuts, maybe I wouldn’t see the world the way I do.  So to all mothers out there . . . I give you a big Woo Hoo!  And do yourself a favor.  Give your kids a pad and pen to write everything down so when they are in therapy in their 30’s blaming you for everything, at least they will get it right!


2 Responses to mother plucker!

  1. sikis izle says:

    Nice article ! Thank you..

Creating happiness

funny girl studio 2While sitting in my store looking at the loooong list of things I needed to do and didn’t want to do, I had an idea, a beautiful silly idea to go visit my studio in the back.  (It seemed like a lot more fun then cleaning the toilets or emptying the garbage.)  And there in the complete mess of things I saw balsa wood, outdoor fencing wire and paper clay, not too mention the other junk just laying around wanting to be glued, drilled or sewn onto other junk.  That’s when it hit me, my inner child said let’s make dolls.  So I did.  I have a theory . . .There’s this huge filing cabinet in my head that used to have useful information in it.  If you took an X-ray of my brain, you would find puppies, wine and a lot of dead brain cells I think, which is why I don’t worry anymore about what I or anyone else thinks.  Maybe it’s part of getting older and not caring. I just stopped over obsessing and criticizing my art thoughts.  I just create what I feel.  No rules!!!  So when I started this project I did have a couple mishaps.  (I never played with paper clay before so her nose fell off, her boobs slid down, pretty much the same crap that happens to me!)  But in the end, I ended up with two very funky inspiring dolls if I say so myself!  So I guess the lesson I learned today is “make art, don’t clean toilets!misfit moods be sillyMisfit moods I am strong





New philosophy . . .

new-philosopy-i-dont-givenew philosopy front of card












I am obsessed with glasses these days. . .probably because I can’t see crap without them.  And the worst thing is I am always loosing them (usually on my head!)  Or when I am having a really good day, you might catch me yelling in my store to anyone who will hear me “have you seen my glasses” and the reply is “they’re in your hand”  Oy!

In my head I look absolutely fabulous with glasses on, but then I look in the mirror and all I see are all those chin hairs that weren’t there the day before!  With that being said maybe my new philosophy should be “I don’t give a *#@%!” anymore.  Let those chin hairs grow long and proud.  I could add a bead or maybe even better, tie them to my eye glasses so I don’t loose them!


No coffee, no workee!


There isn’t enough coffee to get me through this holiday season, my soon to be husband is Christian and I’m jewish, one holiday was hard enough to handle; but now . . .Oy Vey!  The Funny Girl shoppe is keeping me so busy we haven’t had a chance to even get a Jewmas tree.  And between you and me, the thought of leaving my shop and going to the mall is more then I can take right now. I know I should be making more jewelry for the store; or . . hey . . maybe make some gifts for my crazy friends; soooooooo, on that note, I send everyone love, silliness and and some original drawings of how I hope your new year will be . . . xo joey
stay grounded sadie espresso yourself

Belts, Buckles and Crazy

beltsI just designed these fabulous new belt buckles using vintage jewelry pieces.  I love them so much I hope no one buys them so I can hoard them all in my closet.  So of coarse as soon as I put that out in the universe, I sold two.  I feel I should do a background check on the customer.  “How will you wear it?”  “Will you hang her up correctly when she is not being worn?”  “Can I have visitation rights?”   I am smart enough (sometimes) to know if I want to have a successful store, I need to peddle my wares.  But here’s the thing, as an artist, I either love what I create and I don’t want to let it go or I design something that I thinks sucks so much I would never want anyone to have it, let alone pay money for it.  And the other psycho thing I’ll do is under charge for a design because I think no one will buy it and then someone comes in, doesn’t blink at the price, takes it home and I think to myself “why didn’t you charge more”  Really??? Hello, the looney bin called and wants their jacket back!   I truly think that the older I get the crazier I become, the sad thing is with peri-menopause in route, I can’t remember!  So I guess the question of the day is . .  Is it ever possible to be at peace with our decisions?

Some days should come with a delete button!

Jewelry by joeyscarves in storestore








I decided on a whim to open a store with this brilliant idea that I would make everything.  In my head this was the best idea ever.  Instead of being in my pjs in my studio all day talking to myself, I could get dressed and wear make up, talk to women and sell my crap and make money.  What the hell was I thinking???  I signed a year lease and two weeks later moved into the store.  I originally called it Artsy Fartsy, my mother wasn’t keen on the name so the day before I opened, I changed it to Funny Girl.  All I can say, as an artist. . . not one of my best decisions, and I am immersed in stupid decisions on a daily basis. I guess you can call it one of my gifts.  Now, if I could just learn and let it go, I would be fine. . . but nooooooooo . . . .I need to dwell, obsess and completely make myself crazy.  I’m pooped!   I think most artists feel they aren’t good enough and I am their queen!  Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of what I have done in a short period of time, but when you are sitting in your store looking out the window wondering why no one is coming in, you start to guess EVERYTHING you have ever done, pretty much since birth!  In between opening the store, I designed new dolly cards, a brand new line of greeting cards for Pictura and a new line called Wine, Women and Laughter for a dear friend of mine, Linda.  So why do I question myself and think I suck at everything????  Because, that’s how I feel right now.  Everything is triggering me and here’s a perfect example of why I need a lobotomy. . . Bob surprised me with a little puppy named Sadie two weeks ago.  I bring her to the store everyday and I have been spending a lot of time wee-wee training her, she is 2 pounds of cuteness.  But if she has an accident and tinkles on the carpet, I think I failed as an artist.  Seriously, WTF!  What does peeing on the carpet have to do with me as an artist?   I need to get out of crazy town before they start charging me taxes!  So, I ask you . . . Is it part of our wiring as a creative being to feel insecure about everything, to judge and question every move we make, do we need to suffer to create?

Fishnet stockings and Pepto Bismol

where women creat magazineWell, it’s official. . .I am not only in the magazine, I made the cover!  I can’t believe it . . .I feel like Steve Martin in “The Jerk” when he gets the phone book. . . “I am somebody”!

In December a wonderful photographer Rachel Beck came to my house and photographed my studio for the magazine “Where Women Create”.   Of coarse I drove everyone crazy on what outfit to wear and hoped that my hair would behave itself that day.  I had one shot at this and a whole life time to pick it apart, so I wanted to make sure I got it right.  I choose a black dress with fishnet stockings.  What was I thinking?  I can’t speak for other artists; but I am not usually the type to prance around in my studio dressed like I’m queen of the Opera.  Usually I am in my pi’s.  Did you take a look at the pink feathery thing I choose to wear on my belt?  It looks like a Pepto Bismol bird has landed on my lap!  I know, stop!  I am in the most fabulous magazine, get over myself.  Alrighty now, so, as the tiny grown up version of myself reflects on this experience, I have to say, I do have a beautiful studio that inspires me everyday!  I am very grateful for all of the furniture that people threw on the side of the road for me to pick up and I, as hard as it is to say. . . “I am somebody”, I’m not sure who, but hey, it’s a start!





brain cells and shopping

dolly mama I've accumulated a lot of knowledge blog picOK, I’m honestly starting to scare myself!  I, single handedly figured out how to add the “Pin it” button to my images on my website.  I do not know where or how I figured it out without crashing my whole site. . . but I did it!  I feel like a kid who just learned to tie her shoes!  This part of my newly found brain is fabulously smart and I wonder where it has been my whole life. . .I seriously could have used it about a dozen times. . . just in the past hour!

I wasn’t always like this.  In my day, about 100 years ago when we walked to school uphill and barefoot, I was what one would call a “smart girl”.  So when did the brain cells decide to jump ship?  And how did I get them back at the age of 50?  Here is my theory. .

When my daughter Zoe was born 20 years ago, I breast-feed her for 8 months until she weaned me.  About that time I noticed I became a raving idiot . . .and you know why?  My daughter had sucked my brains out through my nipples.  You can’t make this stuff up!  So why now, after 20 years, have I acquired a brain Einstein would be proud of?  Maybe aliens came down and are using me as a test dummy.  Seems appropriate. . . maybe I had a secret filing cabinet in the back of my head that was miss filed all these years and when I clocked myself on the head with a shoe (don’t ask) I jarred the filing cabinet open.  I don’t know; but I guess I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.  I should go share my brilliance with the world . . .or. . . I could go shopping. . .being fabulously smart is exhausting!

2 Responses to brain cells and shopping

  1. Nancy McKneely says:

    I have been sitting here in laughter tears! Your blog is soooo funny, and I love your dolls and your whimsical outlook on life. Please know that if laughter is the best medicine, my Gallbladder problem is now healed! Thank you!

    • joey says:

      Hey Nancy,

      Now that I realized I need to “approve” the blog comments (go figure. . .I have no filter with my mouth; but my blog does!) Anyhoo. . .thanks for the reply, it’s been one of those days and your email made me happy! Hope you are having a fabulous day!

I am woman, I am amazing, I am tired!

studio blog 1I won’t even start with the amount of brain cells I have wasted trying to get this freak’n site up . . . the filing system in my head does not have enough space to comprehend crap like this and create!  I deserve a king size “A” with a gold star and a plaque!  The problem is, I seem to be the only one who thinks so!  I am thoroughly mentally exhausted   You need to understand, I am not a woman who spends a lot of time thinking.  I am more of a jump then learn to swim kind of girl.  Smoke literally came out of my head while I spent two weeks obsessing over what type of site I was gong to re-build and then two more weeks trying to build the site (in between crying and thinking I can’t do this).  I could of paid someone to build the site for me; but I am too cheap, I could have bought a template and we wouldn’t be having this conversation, but nooooooooo. . .I had to buy Headway Theme and design it myself from scratch!  I even did some coding, (which I always thought was what happens when you die!)  I have learned more in the past month about building web-sites then I have learned in my 50 years being here!  It’s time to get back to my studio which used to be neatly organized before I turned into this person who thinks before she leaps,  my   e-mails have piled up and I think I lost the dog under all of the paperwork, not to mention I haven’t designed a damn thing!  I think I need to re-boot (look at me, using computer lingo), go buy me a new filing cabinet and of coarse. . . . a pair of shoes!  Even computer geniuses needs to look good!








3 Responses to I am woman, I am amazing, I am tired!

  1. jennifer says:

    Joey, I just found you and your blog…via the magazine…Where Women Create.
    You crack me up….I love your sense of humor. I’m 53, have curly hair and I’m an artist as well. :) And like you, my daughter weaned me after 7 months….allowing me to see just how much my brain had changed…and not for the better. That was almost 19 years ago and unlike you….I haven’t found my filing cabinet yet.
    The art you create is charming and uplifting. I hope the best for you and I will visit your blog often!

    • joey says:

      Hey Jennifer,
      Crap, now I will have to write more then one blog a month! I swear, I thought it would be easy, I have so much to say to myself in my studio but as soon as I start to write the blog, I got nothing! Thanks for the kind words artist with the curly hair! Happy creating!

  2. Hi Jennifer,
    I am a retired special needs preschool teacher looking for the me to become. My whole life I have identified myself with teaching and kids, both of which are now in my past. I always thought that I would be more than busy after I retired with all of the crafts, sewing, gardening, etc. that I love to do. But I no longer have an identity. Who am I? My work room is unfinished, My kids are grown and gone, My grandkids are far away, My husband is always busy with teaching and his interests, I have no friends who do not work. THEN I found your sight in Where Women Create. I love your drawings, your attitude, your little sayings, and your web site. I also understand your difficulty with the setting up of your site. My youngest child is in the same process of putting her art work on line and designing it all herself. It is up and she is still working out some glitches. Anyway, after reading your back ground and all of the cards you have up, I am energized to get up to the third floor and finish getting my room organized and start working with my craft stuff. Thanks for the kick in the pants and I will continue to read your blog for more inspiration.