When I was younger, I honestly thought getting older meant you magically became wiser... calmer... more patient.
Apparently, I missed that chapter.
Because the older I get, the less patience I have.
Not with my friends.
Not with my family.
Mostly... with people who make me wonder how they successfully put their pants on this morning.
A friend of mine owns a consignment shop.
The other day she caught a young woman shoplifting.
The girl insisted she hadn't stolen anything.
Which was a bold strategy...
...considering she was actually wearing the shirt.
Sweetie.
If you're going to lie...
at least don't model the evidence.
And don't even get me started.
If you've decided shoplifting is going to be your full-time career...
make an effort.
Aim a little higher.
Bloomingdale's.
Neiman Marcus.
I'm not saying you should...
I'm just saying if you're going to make terrible life choices, at least make them expensive.
And this brings me to Number Two on my "No Patience" List.
Every morning I make my coffee, sit down in my studio, and play a game called...
"How Many People Are Trying to Rip Me Off Today?"
Most of them end up in my spam folder.
Congratulations.
You almost stole absolutely nothing.
Honestly...
Some of these scams are so creative that I find myself thinking...
If you're smart enough to invent this ridiculous scheme...
why not use that brain to start an actual business?
Or invent something.
Or cure something.
Or at the very least...
sell cookies.
Anything besides emailing me to let me know my PayPal account, my bank account, my Facebook account, my Netflix account, and apparently my left kidney all need immediate verification.
It's exhausting.
I used to think age would make me more understanding.
Instead...
it's made me realize patience has limits.
Especially before coffee.
So today...
I'm skipping the prayer for strength.
Because we all know where that ends.
Please give me patience.
Because if you give me strength...
I'll need bail money.
❤️ Joey
