I drew this Dolly Mama over twenty years ago.
Back then I thought she was funny because... well... I was forty-one.
Forty-one-year-old me didn't actually have wrinkles.
I was just getting a head start on making fun of them.
Karma’s a bitch.
When I was little, my mom hung crepe paper streamers all over the house for my birthday.
Now I don't have to buy any.
I just raise my arms.
Aging is weird.
One day you're the birthday girl...
The next day...
you're the decorations.
This got me thinking…
I remember my dad rubbing my cheek when I was little and saying how smooth my skin was.
At the time, I had no idea why he kept saying it.
Now I do.
I look at babies and catch myself thinking,
"Look at that skin."
It's so tight...
So smooth...
You could bounce a quarter off that face.
Today?
If I dropped a quarter into one of my wrinkles...
I'd lose twenty-five cents.
Which brings me to genetics.
When I was twenty-five, my future mother-in-law was trying to reassure my husband-to-be that marrying me was a good idea.
She smiled and said,
"Look at Joey's mother. She looks fantastic. You'll be fine."
Well...
There was just one tiny problem.
I don't look anything like my mother.
I look exactly like my father.
And my father...
Looked like a Shar-Pei.
You'd think by sixty-two, my body and I would finally be on the same team.
Apparently not.
The other day I bent over...
...and got hit in the eye by my own boobs.
Nobody prepares you for that.
Then it hit me...
I spent years worrying about gaining weight.
I think I've been looking at it all wrong.
I'm not getting older...
I'm just turning into one of those birthday balloons four days after the party.
Still hanging around...
Just not nearly as full as I used to be.
Turns out this old Dolly Mama knew exactly what she was talking about.
She wasn't making a joke...
She was giving beauty advice.
“Eat... It fills out the wrinkles.”
Of course...
It also fills out my jeans.
So it's a bit of a balancing act.
Either way...
I'm pretty sure laughter burns at least three calories.
Which means after reading this...
We can split one M&M.
❤️ Joey
